Letting Go of a Grown Daughter With Lupus

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Marie Rich's daughter Meredith has lupus. She is beginning to separate from her role as a caregiver.

Every day when I wake up, I wonder about my daughter, Meredith. I wonder how she's feeling today, if her shoulders hurt, if her fingers are swollen, if she can put her rings on them. She was diagnosed with lupus when she was 19 years old, and even though she's now 25 and married, I still wake up wondering.

After Meredith was diagnosed, I was shocked. I didn't know anyone who had lupus, and no one in my family's history has had it. I didn't believe it at first. When I finally accepted it, I knew it would be a life changer. As is the norm now, the first thing I did was to go online and try to research the illness. That, I've learned, is the worst thing you can do. Lupus is what they call a "snowflake disease:" no two people with lupus will have the exact same symptoms. It is also called the great masquerader. Going online provided me with a lot of information that I wasn't sure was relevant to Meredith's situation. It scared me. If all you do is go online, you might as well pack it up, go to your room, and wait until the Lord takes you, because it's not going to help you at all.

Marie Rich talks about her struggle to let go as a lupus caregiver.

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