Intimacy When You Have Low T

By

Chris Iliades, MD

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6 Ways to Take Control of Low Testosterone

If low testosterone is impacting your desire and ability to have sex, these six steps are a guide to restoring sexual performance.
sexual difficulties

When your partner complains about a lack of intimacy, do you feel uncomfortable? If you're a man with low testosterone, or low T, this complaint may cause you to panic. How can you be intimate when you have symptoms of low T, like a dwindling sex drive and fears of erectile dysfunction? But there are answers. Intimacy is more than sex, and you can treat low T.

Understanding Intimacy

Intimacy is a type of closeness and deep communication that you build through time and trust. If you and your partner already have it, low T won’t destroy it. If you don’t have it, you can still work on developing it. 

To enjoy intimacy with your partner:

  • Share your feelings and ideas. People who are intimate enjoy a deeper level of communication.

  • Do things together. Sharing experiences and making time for each other are also forms of intimacy. Read or listen to a romantic novel together.

  • Sexual intimacy is more than just sexual intercourse. Enjoy kissing, touching, and massage.

Intimacy and Low T

You can't have intimacy when there's a lack of trust or knowledge. That means you need to talk with your partner about your situation. Then, your partner won't wonder why you're avoiding sex and acting differently.

To talk about low T with your partner, try these ideas:

  • Choose a time and place that gives you enough space and privacy.

  • Make sure you have all the facts about low T so you can explain your symptoms.

  • Don’t just talk. Listen, too. Your partner may have questions.

  • Be patient, not defensive.

  • When you want to be intimate, start with what feels most comfortable for you. It could be just sharing a long walk.

  • If you are trying to be sexually intimate, talk about what you and your partner enjoy. It could be touching or kissing.

  • If you are still struggling, consider meeting together with a family therapist. It’s worthwhile to find a therapist who is experienced working with couples dealing with low T.

Focusing on Low T

Low T does not have to last forever. While you are working on restoring intimacy to your relationship, you can work with your health care provider on getting your testosterone level back to normal.

A number of health conditions can cause low T, but it can also develop in otherwise healthy older men.

To figure out what's causing your low T and what should be done, your health care provider will:

  • Order blood tests to measure your testosterone level.

  • Try and find the cause of your low T and treat any conditions that are contributing to it.

  • Explore the possibility of testosterone replacement therapy. This might help you gain more interest in sex and improve your ability to have erections. It may also give you more energy and a more positive mood.

Key Takeaways

  • The key to intimacy is understanding that it's more than sexual performance.

  • Honest and open communication is the first step to intimacy.

  • Low T treatment may improve your sexual performance and help you overcome your hesitation with intimacy.


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Medical Reviewers: William C. Lloyd III, MD, FACS Last Review Date: Mar 1, 2016

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Medical References

  1. Types of Intimacy. University of Florida Counselling and Wellness Center. http://www.counseling.ufl.edu/cwc/types-of-intimacy.aspx
  2. Low Testosterone and Men's Health. Hormone Health Network. http://www.hormone.org/questions-and-answers/2010/low-testosterone-and-mens-health

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