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Finding the Best Depression Treatment

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Ways You Can Help Someone with Depression

Medically Reviewed By Bethany Juby, PsyD

Knowing how to help someone with depression can be difficult because each person’s needs can vary. However, helpful approaches include listening to the person’s experiences, helping them seek professional care, and learning more about depression. Helping someone with depression can involve a mix of emotional and practical support.

However, knowing when to seek professional medical help is key, as many people with depression may benefit from further help.

Read on to learn more about how to help someone with depression safely and effectively.

Help them get help

Two young adults and their dog sit beside a lake in a park.
Lupe Rodríguez/Stocksy United

Many people with depression will need professional medical care Trusted Source National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke Governmental authority Go to source as well as social support.

While you cannot force someone to speak with a healthcare professional if they do not want to, they may be more likely to seek help if:

  • you reassure them that it’s OK to need help
  • they know you will not judge them
  • you help them find resources, such as local therapists or support groups

Listen and learn

Everyone experiences and manages depression Trusted Source National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke Governmental authority Go to source differently. Try to be led by what the person you are supporting is experiencing rather than any ideas about depression you may have had.

If you are both comfortable, consider asking the person about what they experiencing or how you can help, such as:

  • How are you feeling?
  • What makes you feel that way?
  • What support do you need right now?
  • Is there anything that triggers your symptoms?

Be sure to follow the person’s cues. If they don’t want to talk about their feelings or a specific topic at that moment, try not to push the conversation. Also, they may not be in the mood to receive advice at certain times, so try to listen empathetically and wait until they prompt you for further help.

Learning more about the condition and its symptoms, causes, and treatments can be helpful.

Often, it can be isolating or upsetting for someone with depression to have to deal with myths or negative conceptions about their condition. Remembering that depression is a chronic illness and treating it as such can help the person feel validated. This also helps provide appropriate solutions and care.

Read more about depression, including its symptoms, causes, and treatments.

Offer practical and emotional support

People with depression may need practical support as well as emotional support like validation, company, and communication.

If you can help, practical support ideas include:

  • body-doubling — keeping the person company while they do personally challenging tasks, such as accompanying them to appointments or while doing chores
  • volunteering to help with specific tasks
  • setting up helpful aids, such as calendars, meal plans, or reminders
  • looking out for helpful information or resources

Keep in contact

Loss of interest, low self-esteem, and fatigue are only a few depression symptoms that make social withdrawal likely. For many people with depression, social support Trusted Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Governmental authority Go to source can be key.

Ways of keeping in contact that may help someone with depression include:

  • suggesting low-demand social activities, such as hanging out at home, video calls, or going for a walk
  • keeping regular contact, such as a text or email, to let them know you are thinking about them
  • understanding that a lack of communication on their part may be due to their symptoms
  • not placing too much pressure on them to reply, but letting them know you are there for them

Remember to be patient

Symptoms such as fatigue, apathy, and lack of motivation can make it hard for people with depression to maintain self-care and treatment.

Big changes or activities may be too challenging, even if they may seem like they could help. Instead, try to offer support at a steady pace or work in steps, led by what they find manageable.

Know when to seek professional help

Working with a professional when necessary can keep both you and the person you are supporting safe.

Try encouraging the person to talk with a doctor or mental health professional if:

  • their symptoms are worsening or not improving with self-care
  • their symptoms last more than 2 weeks
  • their symptoms affect their daily life, work, or interests
  • they have thoughts of self-harm or suicide

Warning symptoms that can indicate someone is at risk of suicide include Trusted Source National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke Governmental authority Go to source :

  • talking about wanting to die or feeling like a burden to others
  • feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, or having no reason to live
  • being extremely sad, agitated, or having other strong feelings
  • intense physical or emotional pain
  • changes in behavior, such as:
    • sudden peace or happiness
    • making plans and organizing, such as making a will or giving away belongings
    • taking dangerous risks
    • researching ways to die
    • extreme mood shifts
    • changes in eating or sleep habits
    • using drugs or alcohol more

If someone you know is at immediate risk of harming themselves or others, or at risk of suicide: 

  • Even if it’s tough, ask, “Are you considering suicide?” 
  • Listen without judgment.
  • Call 911 or your local emergency number. 
  • Stay with them until emergency services arrive.
  • Try to remove any weapons, medications, or other potentially harmful items if it is safe to do so.

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

  • Call 988 
  • Chat with the lifeline

This service is available 24/7.

Look after yourself

Supporting someone with a health condition can affect your own mental health and well-being. While offering support, make sure you take steps to look after your own health, such as:

  • finding a balance between caring for another person and yourself
  • taking care of your physical health, such as by getting regular physical activity and following a balanced diet
  • making time for rest and your priorities
  • being aware of your boundaries and knowing when to act on them — such as taking a break when you need one
  • managing stress, such as with meditation, enjoyable activities, or psychotherapy
  • talking with a counselor or psychotherapist
  • talking with social support groups or others who are having similar experiences

Your medical team or local health center may be able to recommend local support groups or resources for caregivers.

You can also talk with a doctor if you are unsure how best to help someone with a mental health condition.

What to avoid

Some behaviors or approaches may be unhelpful when supporting depression:

  • Don’t use harsh or critical language, such as telling someone to “snap out of it” or stating that other people may have it worse. Depression is a chronic condition, and often, symptoms are out of the person’s control.
  • Don’t use dismissive, overly positive, or simplifying language, such as “Cheer up” or “Just try getting out of the house.”
  • Don’t judge or take things personally.
  • Don’t try to “fix” the person — support can be helpful, but many people also require professional care.
  • Don’t minimize or compare the person’s experience.
  • Don’t project your own beliefs about antidepressant medication — some people may be interested in trying it, while others may want to avoid it. Whether someone with depression takes medication is a personal choice between them and their doctor.

Summary

Helping someone with depression can involve:

  • listening without judgment
  • learning about depression
  • offering practical help
  • keeping in regular contact

However, it’s critical to know when to seek professional medical help. Help someone contact a doctor if they experience severe, persistent, or unmanageable symptoms of depression.

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Medical Reviewer: Bethany Juby, PsyD
Last Review Date: 2024 Apr 18
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THIS TOOL DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. It is intended for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Never ignore professional medical advice in seeking treatment because of something you have read on the site. If you think you may have a medical emergency, immediately call your doctor or dial 911.